This last year has been one of the most miraculous an faith testing year I have ever been through!
In February of 2020 I was on a trip in Cancun with my husband and the company he works for. We were there for 4 days and, on the last night of our trip, I had a seizure of some sort. I am 52 and have never had one before that night. We flew home and in the following weeks saw doctors and had tests run and was I diagnosed with 2 brain tumors, one large and one small. They said the large one needed to come out because it was pressing on my brain and and that’s what caused the seizure. They couldn’t tell me if it was cancerous or not until they did the operation. This is when Covid first hit, and our oldest daughter was planning to be married May 9th . The doctors said they could not operate right then, which I was fine with due to the wedding and the enormous thought of what this surgery would entail. I went to talk with a pastor at our church and was in tears; devastated and scared. I walked out of that meeting with a scripture – 2nd Chronicles 20:15 – Do not be afraid or discouraged…for this battle is not yours but God’s. I wrote this scripture on all my mirrors and held on to it for dear life. I said out loud, “I will not give in to fear.”
Going forward I felt peace and my daughter’s wedding got pushed to the end of May and we told the surgeon and asked to wait to have the surgery. Then our daughter got a call from her venue and they had to push the wedding out again due to Covid. They gave her the option of the end of June or July 17th. She asked our opinion. We told her I needed to talk with my surgeon. While we were waiting for his return call, I spoke with our pastor to tell him how unsettled I was about this and not wanting to make this decision. He then told me, “You know sometimes God has a way of deciding for you” and to read the story of Job in the meantime. I took his advice and heard back from the surgeon about pushing the wedding to July 17th and wanting to wait for the surgery until after the event. He wasn’t comfortable with that, so he scheduled surgery for the end of May to give me 6 weeks of recovery before the wedding. My husband was a mess an all I could do was feel that God was orchestrating all of this and genuinely had a peace that I couldn’t explain to anyone. The doctors would tell us about all the risks and shaving a line in my hair from side to side (I had been growing my hair out for the wedding). They told us about the possibility of me having a stroke during or after the operation and that I had to go in one day prior to surgery and have another operation to stop blood flow to the area. They told me how they would have to remove part of my skull to do surgery to do this, and yet I knew God had a bigger plan. My surgery was schedule for May 27 for the blood flow thing and then the 28th for the brain surgery. My husband was beside himself. Our daughter was 12 at the time and I was trying to explain to her and our adult kids what was happening. I felt bad for my family and my parents and everyone else and their worries but I never felt the dread of the surgery. In fact I had a joy, as silly as that sounds, because I couldn’t wait to see what God had planned. My husband and younger daughter took me to the hospital dropped me off with lots of tears an I cried because they were, but smiling at the same time saying it would be ok.
I came out of surgery and called them before going to recovery and told them I was fine. The funny thing is, from the moment I walked into the hospital and everyday after my surgeries , every person nurses and doctors an tech I came in contact with kept asking me why I was peaceful and so happy. Now I have never had a spirit that was forward and outgoing to people and witnessing to them about God, but I told everyone that God had my back and this was his fight, not mine, and I was going to be ok. I was able to share God and the nurses would tell me their story and things in life they were going through and they would cry an tell me how much they needed to see how peaceful I was an hear that this was God’s battle. You see when I was in ICU, that floor had all the Covid patients and those doctors and nurses were so worn down and hurting.
The night before the brain surgery, I was on the phone with my husband and he was not doing well with all this. I sent him a song that had come out the week before on KGBI. It is by Elevation Worship and called See a Victory, which by the grace of God in the lyrics has the phrase For the battle belongs to you Lord and when I first heard it the week prior to surgery, I knew that was God telling me what my pastor already had. So I sent my husband this song and he played it over and over all night at home. Than morning he called me prior to surgery and had people from our church come down to the hospital to pray out front on the parking garage roof with me on the phone.
The surgery went well. They removed the large tumor could not reach the little one and had a biopsy done. I have heard songs and watched movies about miracles since my surgery and every time there is a message reminding me of God’s miracle in my life, just like in Mercy Me’s new song Say I Won’t. God said to me the world is gonna hear [about My love for them]and He wants me to help spread His message!